Archive for December, 2013

seize the dayLike so many of you, I’ve been reflecting on the past year and the year to come. I’m aware of God’s presence as I pause and ask questions. What is truly important to me? Is my life on track with God’s plans and purposes? Am I living the abundant life? Fully alive to all I’m destined to be? Where have I lost focus? How can I make the next year one lived well?

On December 9, I went to my annual GYN appointment. In the midst of the routine questions, my doctor suddenly had a quizzical look on her face. One question led to another which led to some tests. I later found myself sitting in a consultation room hearing my doctor say, “I have to rule out cancer.” Feeling gut kicked, I fought the tears that readily filled my eyes. Suddenly feeling off-balance and wondering what it would mean if cancer existed in my body, fear called out to me. I felt the urge to hide this information and handle this all by myself, one of my not-so-healthy self-sufficient ways of being.

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dreams really do come trueDreams, desires, and hope inspire us, move us forward, and ignite our hearts and souls with purpose and passion. Sometimes the fire inside us burns like a well-stoked fire providing slow steady warmth. At other times, these dreams and desires erupt as if a match had been thrown onto the driest of fields. And then there are the times when we find the embers of hope in our souls to be barely burning. We become dry, empty; the fire of our hearts smothered out by discouragement and the loss of hope. The “When, God, when?” times. The times Proverbs describes as hope deferred resulting in heartsickness.

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Categories : Christmas, Dreams
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Dec
20

Christmas Longings

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godwithusAs I enter the home stretch of the holiday season, I am feeling a muddle of emotions. Tinges of sadness mixed with moments of excitement are dancing around with sighs of relief and bits of regrets. So much is demanded of us all during this time of year. There are presents to be bought, gifts to be wrapped, cards to be sent, food to be cooked, events to attend. And all this on top of everyday life.

It’s always about this time of the month, the home stretch, when I begin to feel that one day soon I am going to be sitting down with my cup of coffee and a good book and breathing in some down time. It’s the almost-and-yet-not-quite-home stretch. The just-one-more-gift-to-buy, one-more-thing-I-forgot, one-more-thing-to-check-off-the-list, I’m-almost-done-feeling. The if-I-can-just-get-through-one-more-busy-day kind of emotion. The I-can-hang-on-one-more-day-even-though-I’m-exhausted-because-I-know-it’s-almost-here kind of tiredness.

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Categories : Christmas
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Dec
09

The Birth of a Son

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IMG_5440Thirty-one years ago on this day, my first born arrived. (Happy Birthday, Andrew!) Due on Christmas Day, Andrew got some help arriving early because I had toxemia.

Having a child changed my life. Overwhelming love surged through my heart. Life suddenly became so much different. I was responsible for taking care of Andrew. I read every book I could find on parenting. I dedicated myself to feeding him right, providing every kind of opportunity for him to be happy, healthy, and smart. I bought those educational toys, the ones with the right colors and movements that would insure my child would be all he could be. I sang to him, rocked him, cuddled him, and adored him.IMG_3329IMG_6960

I remember wanting his world to be perfect. I never wanted him to cry or experience pain.

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Categories : Birthdays, Christmas
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