Archive for Aging

Mar
02

Chocolate Cake for Breakfast

Posted by: | Comments (4)

chocolate cake Life is always uncertain. Most of the time, I live as if that isn’t true and yet the last two years have consistently reminded me that things can change at any given moment.

My mom has had multiple new health concerns in recent days. Calls from her assisted living facility mean immediate changes in my daily schedule in order to facilitate Mom’s care. Unplanned doctor visits and hospital stays trump my normal life and remind me that I’m not really in control of my life as much as I’d like to believe.

It reminds me of the days when my kids were small and you never knew when a stomach virus or some other unplanned thing would show up to throw a wrench into life’s schedule. Flexibility was a necessity in those days.

Enjoy this post? Share it with your friends by clicking the Facebook LIKE button..

Powered By Facebook Like Post Plugin

Categories : Aging, Anxiety
Comments (4)

got guiltI felt as if I’d been slugged in my stomach. Emotions began right in my gut and spread throughout my body as waves of fear and dread crashed through all sense of what’s good and right in the world. Sadness pervaded my soul.

Immediately following were feelings of guilt which begged to evolve into the voice of shame. The devil’s basic arsenal of shame messages whispered to my heart, “You’re a bad daughter. You are failing. You are a failure.”

And all this happened in less than 30 seconds.

I was at work when I answered the call from my mother’s assisted living facility during which I was asked to take my Mom to the hospital today for 7-10 days for a medication evaluation from the geriatric psychiatric doctors.

Enjoy this post? Share it with your friends by clicking the Facebook LIKE button..

Powered By Facebook Like Post Plugin

Categories : Aging, Guilt
Comments (0)
Jun
08

Holding Mom’s Hand

Posted by: | Comments (3)

mom holding little girl's hand 

 

We hold hands a lot now, my mother and I.  Much as a mother would hold the hand of her little girl as they cross a parking lot or walk the hallways on the way to a class, I hold my 86 year old mother’s hand, both to guide her along the hallways of her assisted living facility and to give her the safety of my touch.

The sadness of these moments is intermingled with feelings of tenderness as Mom and I have completely switched roles. Some 53 years ago, she and my dad adopted my twin brother and me and brought us home from the hospital at 3 days of age.

Enjoy this post? Share it with your friends by clicking the Facebook LIKE button..

Powered By Facebook Like Post Plugin

Comments (3)

January was an incredibly difficult month for me. It began on the first day of the month. My elderly mother who lives with me fell, and we spent half of the day in the ER making sure she was okay and getting her head sewn up.

Three weeks later, she fell again. This time the ER visit turned into an 8 day hospital stay and now has become patient in a rehab facility. While caring for my mother has been my priority, I’ve been stretched to my limits on how to care for myself.

Enjoy this post? Share it with your friends by clicking the Facebook LIKE button..

Powered By Facebook Like Post Plugin

Categories : Aging, Authenticity, Grace
Comments (15)
Dec
13

Morning Musings on My Birthday

Posted by: | Comments (2)

 It’s here again. Another birthday. I awakened before dawn in prayerful thoughts, anticipating God’s kisses on my morning. My favorite coffee, black syrup my husband says, awaited me in the kitchen. With cup in hand, I sat down here with my computer and my dog who insists on sitting in my chair with me.  A letter from my husband lay waiting on my keyboard, a beautiful tradition of his, his words brought pleasure to my heart and then on to read Facebook birthday wishes. A pretty good start.

With my birthday, Christmas, and the New Year so stacked together, I always find myself reflecting, musing on this day of what the year has been like. The highs. The lows. And I take time to hope and dream of the next year. To connect to my soul’s desires.

Enjoy this post? Share it with your friends by clicking the Facebook LIKE button..

Powered By Facebook Like Post Plugin

Categories : Aging, Birthdays, Change, seasons
Comments (2)