Archive for Authenticity
The Starting Point
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Sometimes the processes of our lives could be best represented by a circle. We start at a certain point, sure that we have all the answers, cocky, self-assured, ready to conquer the world and move aside all the poor fools who have so much less understanding than we do. However, life with its hard knocks and deep valleys, has a way of enlightening us and leveling the ground of our self-importance. We often find that we weren’t quite as “right” as we first thought. We come full circle and learn to see the wisdom in some of the ones who have gone before us in this journey called life. We experience hurt and pain. We are wounded.
And a most peculiar thing happens for those who open their hearts to learn. We find that our wounds have the potential of becoming a source of healing for others.
I suppose that we have two basic choices when life wounds us – and it always does in one way or another. We can shake our fists at the pain, curse those who brought it, and become angry, resentful, and bitter, demanding payment from the world and life itself for surely we deserve retribution for the wrongs committed against us. Or we can allow God to bring beauty out of our woundedness.
If we are to truly make a difference in this life, it seems to me that the starting place for that is the place of our woundedness. Why would such a thing be true?
A Time to Embrace
Posted by: | CommentsTo everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
…A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
Ecclesiastes 3
Ever tried to hug someone and felt their refusal to accept your embrace? Perhaps they stiffened up or went limp or distanced themselves and you knew that for whatever reason, they were not okay with your embrace.
It’s not always easy to embrace. Embracing involves risk and implies willing acceptance, whether another person, an idea, a view, yourself, your circumstances, or maybe your history. Usually our refusal to embrace has more to do with our own selves and our own heart than with whatever or whomever we refuse to embrace.
As of late, I’ve been thinking about how at times it has not been easy for me to embrace myself. I’ve been finding that my ability to love others and embrace them is dependent upon my ability to embrace myself.
Sometimes when we who are followers of Christ begin to understand that the Word says we must deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Jesus, we forget that Jesus also said we are to love ourselves as we love others. And to be able to accept both of those truths at the same time seems impossible. So we try to choose one or the other of the truths and find ourselves off balance.
Hide or Seek
Posted by: | CommentsHide and Seek
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
Ready or not – Here I come!
The object of the old childhood game is to hide well enough that no one will find you. If no one finds you, you win.
I think that is a pretty good picture of how we often live. We look for the best hiding places; places to hide our true heart, our emotions, our giftings, our anger, our thoughts. We try to hide so well that no one will see us. And then, if no one finds us, we declare that we have won!
Yet when we choose to hide our true self in our relationships, instead of winning, we actually lose. We lose the opportunity to be truly known and loved for who we really are.
We hide our faces, our hearts, our fears, and our failures from each other. We then declare that we have won. Oh, not verbally, but deeply within our hearts. It is too risky to allow someone else to see our most intimate thoughts and feelings. We even convince ourselves that we can hide from God. And the paradox of it all is that in the hiding of our hearts, we effectively prevent ourselves from receiving the love of God and the love of others.
“Can You Identify Yourself?”
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Okay, I admit it. This joke is always told about a young woman instead of a man, but I think that is gender bias so I tweaked it a bit!
Identity has become a huge concern in our world today. We have identity crises. We have identity security. We have identity theft. My only problem so far is that no one has wanted to steal my identity!
Well, seriously, every aspect of our lives requires that we identify ourselves. Whether we are traveling through an airport or checking out at Wal-Mart, we are constantly being asked to identify ourselves.
It seems that from the moment we become deeply involved in our worlds, we are always seeking to identify ourselves in some ways. Often we try to be someone we are not because someone else’s identity seems so much more desirable than our own. During our school days, we long to be in the popular crowd. We long for acceptance and often act like a chameleon so that some one will just accept us. How deceived we are for what good is acceptance when it is based on inauthenticity? Tragically, our opinions and values sometimes change moment by moment depending upon who we are with and how dominant their personality is.
