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Mikki
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It’s my birthday today. As I get older, birthdays seem more significant. I reflect more. I evaluate my life. I ask questions.
Am I living an authentic life? Am I living in balance? Have I forgotten to listen to my heart or my Lord? Am I enjoying my family, friends, and church community as fully as I should?
I laughingly call myself a recovering workaholic, and as such, these questions are important for me. I have a sense that these same questions are necessary for all of us who live the great American life which exalts busyness above relationships.
In honor of my heart and soul and what I’ve learned in recent years, I took the day off work today. I began the day with a cup of Archers Farm coffee and a bite of almond pound cake and a good conversation with my husband. I drank in both the coffee and the words in my husband’s birthday letter to me.
I received hugs from my husband and youngest son. I enjoyed birthday wishes from my daughter via phone. I await my wishes from my other two sons as it is still early here in Alabama. My husband’s men’s small group sang Happy Birthday to me.
I am filling my soul and spirit with Jesus Culture as I oscillate between reading birthday wishes from friends via Facebook and email and writing this blog.
I look forward to other significant moments today. I plan to read a good book, which is a pleasure of mine, and my husband is taking me to Cracker Barrel for breakfast where I will enjoy the delightful world of carbohydrates.
I feel at peace, and I know that I am not settling for shallowness, either in my relationships or in my dreams.
I want nothing less than something more.
More than living life to check off a to-do list. More than living for the pats on the back that are not linked to relationships that stand the tests of trials and time.
I believe that life is meant to be more. A sacred adventure. A journey of discovery.
I live for more. More fullness of joy. More revelation of God’s love for me. More good conversations. More beautiful sunsets. More meaningful hugs. More laughter. More awareness of the present moment. The heights of the joys. The depths of the sorrows. The richness of life. The beauty of today. The something more.
What about you? Are you living for nothing less than something more?
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Mikki
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I awakened at 4 a.m. this morning to the sounds of the wind whipping. It’s a bitterly cold 17 degrees with a wind chill of 2 degrees here in Northwest Alabama where dusts of snow lie on the ground from yesterday. It is my birthday.
Alone with my thoughts which refused to return to dreamland, I slipped out of bed. My coffee awaited me thanks to the wonder of a coffee maker with a timer, one of God’s really good gifts. For a few moments, I purposefully took some deep breaths and thanked God for breath, for life, always painfully aware on my birthday that my twin, Mike, is not here to celebrate with me.
After reading some reflections on Advent, I smiled as my Facebook account told me that several of you early bird friends have already arisen and sent birthday greetings my way, and my email told me that Luminosity offers me a coupon for my birthday to buy a program to keep my brain sharp. Ah, the mixed blessings of being 51.
Before long, my husband greeted me with a lovely birthday card, very carefully chosen for this day and a chorus of Happy Birthday and You Are So Beautiful to Me. It was really close to Lionel Richie, sweetheart, I’m just sayin’.
I suppose birthdays are meant for reflecting. Tears fill my eyes as I think of significant losses in my life. Inner joy and peace also fill the moment as I think of the great riches I have. Read more...
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Mikki
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2009 is gone, and I have awakened unto 2010. I stop this morning to reflect on 2009 and look forward to 2010. As a matter of accountability, I’ve already looked back at the goals I set for 2009 to see how I did in regard to them. I am pleased. 2009 was a year of continued change for me. Certainly I didn’t score 100% but in my blog, Welcoming 2009, I notice that I gave myself permission to resolve to resolve imperfectly! So I did not fail. Read more...
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Mikki
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To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And a time to die; Ecclesiastes 3
We, as humans, live with the knowledge that one day we will die.
Maybe I am thinking about this since I am about to have my 50th birthday. Now I am not planning to die anytime soon, but I am beginning to live with the realization that I am aging. I must admit it is bothering me a little. I have told all my friends and family that there better not be any black balloons at my birthday party. I may be aging, but I am not dying and I do not want to cry at my party.
Some of my family and friends have been asking me what I’d like to receive as a gift on this special birthday. When my daughter-in-law asked what I wanted, I gave her the name of an anti-aging cream!
I don’t think of myself as, well, older. In some ways, I still think I am that invincible teenager who could fearlessly climb to the top of a cheerleading pyramid. Surely I am still that young girl who woke up at 6 a.m. ready to conquer the day and needing no coffee to do so.
But I have come to accept, reluctantly, that my body is aging. I have joints that ache, mostly from jumping off pyramids! And my body says that it would have been much wiser to have taken better care of it before now. Read more...
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Mikki
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Today is my birthday. I am 49.
My birthday is always filled with ambivalence as I feel a sense of sadness because my twin brother, Mike, is no longer here on the earth with me. I miss him and regret not spending more time with him and helping him more through his difficult seasons. And strangely enough, today was my adopted parents’ wedding anniversary. So I miss my father today, too. I wish I could feel his hug and hear his laugh. And I’ve lost so many relationships this last year.
And this past year was so difficult. Not a year I would ever want to relive.
Yet birthdays are supposed to be for celebrating. I have much to celebrate.
My marriage is stronger. Eddie and I have endured the storms this year and learned much about ourselves. We have learned new communication skills and better ways to cherish one another. We are finding that as we always knew, marriage is hard work – like all real relationships. But we have found a more precious intimacy with each other that is bringing me much joy.
My children are doing well. Andrew is married and has his own business. I have watched him mature into such a strong, talented young man. I always say he was my best birthday gift ever as he was born on Dec. 9, and I brought him home from the hospital on my birthday. I have always been amazed at what a wonderful person he is in spite of my lack of parenting skills with a first-born child. Read more...
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