Mikki's Blog - Living in the Grace and Love of God » Christian Community

Beyond Blame

Mikki — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 15:59:51 +0000

(This is part two of a series on forgiveness. I’m not sure how many parts there will be! Pt. 1 is The Hardest Thing You’ll Ever Do).

When there is sin, there will always be the need for forgiveness. Sin doesn’t exist in a bubble, and often causes collateral damage.

Adam and Eve sinned and mankind has been dealing with the effects of their sin (and our own personal sin) ever since.

Blaming is easy and can be an attempt to deal with our shame. Adam, who should have stepped in and covered his wife, blamed Eve instead of facing his shame. Eve blamed the serpent. And we still naturally default to using blame as a tactic to defer our personal guilt. We are not personally responsible in every situation, of course, but there is often a domino effect after sin occurs. You hurt me; I hurt my kid; my kid hurts the dog, etc.

Blame distracts us from the real issues and hinders our healing. When we default to blaming others, we can’t really know the truth about ourselves. When Adam and Eve sinned, they hid from God, but God responded to their sin by calling them out of hiding and confronting them with the truth. He declared that sin has a penalty, an intrinsic curse, and then He spoke of how He would trump the entire situation with a plan of redemption. God offered hope. Even Adam who had been caught up blaming his wife, offered hope when he called his wife “Eve”, the mother of all living. Yes, there would be life after terrible sin, failure, pain, and separation. God knew his children needed hope for without it, they would despair of their very life.

Even when we are completely innocent in a situation, we have a propensity in our sin nature to react wrongly. We can become bitter, angry, resentful, and unforgiving, and then we are no longer innocent. We all stand before God, responsible for our own words, actions, and attitudes, even when the original sin was not our fault in any way.

Blame separates us from feeling our loss. It hinders us from appropriate mourning over sin, whether ours or another’s. When we choose blame, we get “caught in the swirl”, which causes us to lose our objectivity.

I suppose we all could name at least one person whom we identify as someone who never takes responsibility for anything. It is always someone else’s fault (and conversely, some people take the blame for things that are not their fault in any way – that is wrong, too, because it attempts to defer the blame and can, at times, hinder the person who is at blame from “stepping up to the plate”). This kind of blaming hinders personal growth.

So if blaming is not the answer, what is?

1. Take responsibility for your part. Ask others to forgive you if that is appropriate. Ask God for forgiveness for any sin on your part. (If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9) (If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all man. Romans 12:18)

2. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

3. Depend upon the grace of God to bring healing and restoration, when possible and remember that it can be a process (Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more. Romans 5:20).

4. Resist the urge to demonize your enemies. (read The Hardest Thing You’ll Ever Have to Do)

5. Accept God’s hope and offer it to others.

6. When appropriate, cover the sins of others. (again, this is not always appropriate but most of us tend to uncover people by gossiping and blaming instead of erring on the side of covering too much. Love covers a multitude of sin. 1 Peter 4:8)

7. Understand that there is a real need to grieve your losses. Sometimes you need to do that with a friend or pastor. That is different than trying to prove that someone else was wrong.

We who are Christians begin our relationship with God through receiving His forgiveness, and we continue our relationship with Him through receiving His forgiveness and offering forgiveness to others. It’s not easy, but it is God’s pattern. Move beyond blame and seek to understand the deep, inner work God wants to do in your own heart.

It All Comes Down to Love

Mikki — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 12:25:02 +0000

Well, fellow travelers on this journey, we have reached day 21. We will now prepare to break our fast tomorrow. I pray these days have been days of insight for you and days of personal growth in your relationship with God and others. Remember, God is always doing more than you can see and He honors every sacrifice we have made because we wanted to know his heart more.

When Jesus summarized the two most important things about a believer’s life, he said 1) love God, and 2) love others. It all comes down to love so today I end these devotionals with this section of Scripture from 1 Corinthians 13. Read it prayerfully, slowly, listening and being sensitive for any way the Holy Spirit wants to speak to you.

Even if I can speak in all the tongues of earth—and those of the angels, too—but do not have love, I am just a noisy gong, a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophesy such that I can comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge, or if I have faith great enough to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

If I give away everything I own to feed those poorer than I, then hand over my body to be burned, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous, it does not put on airs, and it is not snobbish; it is never rude or self-seeking; it is not prone to anger, nor does it brood over injuries. Love doesn’t rejoice in what is wrong, but rejoices in the truth. There is no limit to love’s forbearance, to its trust, its hope, its power to endure.

~ I Corinthians 13:1-7

The Blessings of Unity

Mikki — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:52:20 +0000

In Psalm 133, David reflected on what it was like for God’s people to live together in unity.

¹ Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
         For brethren to dwell together in unity!
² It is like the precious oil upon the head,
         Running down on the beard,
         The beard of Aaron,
         Running down on the edge of his garments.
³ It is like the dew of Hermon,
         Descending upon the mountains of Zion;
         For there the LORD commanded the blessing—
         Life forevermore.

These are some of the principles we can draw out of this passage:

It is good for God’s people to live together in unity.
It is pleasant for God’s people to live together in unity.
It is like the precious anointing oil that was used to anoint Aaron, the first high priest; unity is precious.
It flows down from our high priest, Jesus.
Its presence on our body is visible. It is tangible.
It flows from one part of the body to another.
It is fragrant like anointing oil.
It is refreshing like the dew which fell on Mt. Hermon.
The place where unity dwells is the place where God commands his blessing.
The blessing of God is full of life.

As you can see, unity is highly valued by God and is highly desirable. It begins in our heart and affects everything around us. It draws others to it because it is irresistibly beautiful. Are you living in the place of unity?