Archive for intimacy
Healing My Prostitute Heart
Posted by: | Comments
I have just returned from Pattaya, Thailand, a city where 30,000 prostitutes live and work. I felt a strong urgency about this particular mission trip. Part of our ministry while we were there was walking down the streets lined with bars and prostitutes and listening for God’s direction as we prayed and walked.
One particular night, I felt total exhaustion, emotionally and physically. My body had not adjusted at all to the 13 hour time difference. Pushing past my exhaustion, I walked down Walking Street with Angel, my interpreter.
I pondered at my emotions. I felt a total lack of condemnation for the thousands of girls who lined the streets and for the men who were looking to buy them for the night. I questioned God about my heart.
Is my heart dead?
Has the pain in my life during the last few years numbed me to Your Spirit?
Is my spiritual thermometer broken?
What should I be feeling?
Jesus, what would you feel?
As I walked in the darkest spiritual place I’ve ever seen, a city full of oppression, I did not feel oppressed. I looked past the way the girls were dressed and their makeup and looked into their eyes and all I could see was emptiness. My heart broke for them.
Enjoy this post? Share it with your friends by clicking the Facebook LIKE button..
Powered By Facebook Like Post Plugin
The Diary
Posted by: | Comments
When I was a little girl, I had a diary. It was just a cheap cardboard bound little book with a lock. I kept the key hidden away. Had anyone really wanted to read my diary badly enough, the lock would have been simple to break, yet having a lock on the diary was a sign of power. It was my story and no one was allowed to read it.
Part of the intrigue of a diary is both the power of the writer to lock away their secrets and the risk of someone else finding the diary and reading the author’s most treasured secrets.
To me, there was always something mysteriously wonderful about my diary. For one thing, it was a place I could write my deepest secrets and thoughts in safety. Secondly, there was the beauty of the lock itself. The lock was power. My power. The power to tell my story and then hide it away. I always kept the key hidden far away from the actual diary. My diary could not betray me as long as I kept the key.
There was always the potential for a power shift. If someone else found my diary and my key, opened my diary and read it, then they would have the power of knowing my innermost thoughts.
Of course, diary keeping is quite different today. Online diaries and locked away passwords are the storage places and keys for today’s world, but the dynamics are really the same.
Enjoy this post? Share it with your friends by clicking the Facebook LIKE button..
Powered By Facebook Like Post Plugin
