Mikki's Blog - Living in the Grace and Love of God » Real life issues

Seize the Day!

Mikki — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:26:12 +0000

A few years ago the movie "Dead Poets Society" resurrected a Latin phrase, Carpe Diem, or Seize the Day, an exhortation to live life to the fullest, getting the most out of each individual day.

I thought of that phrase this morning as I read Ecclesiastes 9. Ecclesiastes is not on the top of my reading list, but I found myself there today. Throughout the book, Solomon struggles with issues like the vanity and futility of life. Not exactly the book you turn to in order to be encouraged. Yet that is what I found in this passage!

Solomon’s journey had taken him through seasons of pursuing God wholeheartedly to times of seeking his own paths. His wrong choices left him empty, broken, and dis.heart.ened. He had lost heart.

Solomon had great wisdom, wealth, and every whim of his heart was his, yet his long season of pursuing selfish desires had left him disillusioned. We believe he wrote Ecclesiastes toward the end of his life. He reflected on his life and on life in general and shared what he had learned.

“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. What profit has a man from all his labor in which he toils under the sun?” … “I communed with my heart, saying, ‘Look, I have attained greatness, and have gained more wisdom than all who were before me in Jerusalem. My heart has understood great wisdom and knowledge. And I set my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is grasping for the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 1:2, 16-17).

Wow, that will stoke your fire, huh?

Chapter nine continues with Solomon’s exploration of how both good and bad come to all, “To him who sacrifices and him who does not sacrifice. As is the good, so is the sinner,” (vs. 3). And just when you think you want to close the book before you are overcome with discouragement, he offers these truths:

“Go eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart: For God has already accepted your works. Let your garments always be white, and let your head lack no oil. Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life…Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going,” (cheerful, huh?) [verses 7-10].

And yet, there is a simple wisdom for us.

Enjoy the day. We don’t know what will come tomorrow. (Click post title to read entire post)
Be thankful for what you have. Enjoy it.
Know you are accepted by God.
Live in purity.
Pursue the fullness of God.
Find joy in your relationships.
Whatever you do, do it with everything within you!
Life is short. Make it count. Seize the day!!

I love the fact that God doesn’t sugar-coat His Word. He allows us to see the humanness of His servants. The highs, the lows. The victories. The failures. The times when they soar on eagle’s wings and the times when they fall in the pit. We can learn from others’ experiences.

And God whispers to us in every season that He is with us. We can find Him in good days and in bad days. And with Him, we can seize the day and find reason to rejoice, to enjoy, to live life fully, moment by moment, day by day.

Will you seize your day today?

Seize the Day!

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How God Speaks to Us Through Our Emotions

Mikki — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 12:14:02 +0000

What emotions are you feeling right now? Can you name what is happening inside your inner world? Could God be speaking to you through your emotions?

Are you annoyed, ashamed, confused, hurt, depressed, jealous, anxious, fearful, stressed, angry, or sad?

While it may sound like a simple task to name what emotions you are experiencing, I haven’t always been able to do that and I’ve found in my work as a therapist, that many, many folks are not able to accurately name what is happening inside them.

One part of my journey during the last few years has been getting connected to my true heart and my emotional life.

I vividly remember taking an Anger Inventory at a ladies’ retreat a few years ago. I had organized the event for our church ladies’ group. A therapist friend of mine, Susi Harbour, administered a personality test and an anger inventory to our entire group, including the other speakers I had invited. I remember being shocked at the results of both my test and the tests of the other leaders who were seated around my table. My score indicated that I was rarely angry; it was actually more like a non-existent score. I’ve since told my friend, Susi, that she should have pulled me aside at that point and scheduled an intervention immediately! You see, what that screams to me now is that I was out of touch with my heart, unable to express my anger, and needed to learn new skills for handling intense emotions.

The other women at my table were, well, fireballs at times! Their intense emotions were strange to me. Could it be acceptable to feel such a range of emotions? Was it godly?

Within six months, my husband and I were in the middle of a terrible crisis and I found myself struggling to survive emotionally. Time and time again, I answered our counselor with a resounding, “No”, as he quizzed me as to whether or not I had shared my feelings about certain situations with my husband.

A long, long season of examination and growth have taught me that there were, in fact, lots of intense emotions in my heart, but I didn’t have a clue how to share them or feel safe with their intensity. And while that may be foreign to some of you, I had grown up in a home where avoidance and denial were our ways of relating. That does not mean that we didn’t have love, we did. You see, we should value the positive things in our lives, and yet move to change the negative.

Is it okay to be angry? Are we sinning when we are angry?

Scripture clearly answers such questions. God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are shown to have intense emotions, including anger. Certainly, the Godhead is holy, and experiences anger. But can we?

We have guidelines in the Word about how and how not to express our intense emotions, including anger. I’ve learned that anger usually comes from hurt or fear, and therefore must be attended to.

God gives us emotions as signals. These signals can tell us when our boundaries have been violated, when we have sinned and failed to repent, when we are living out of balance, when we are ignoring our physical health, spiritual health, mental or emotional health, and so much more.

So it stands to reason that if we are unable to properly name what is happening in our hearts, then we are not living from our truest heart.

Looking back, I can remember feelings of frustration, irritation, anger, fear, and more, and yet I couldn’t really name those feelings. You see, if I had attended to my feelings, I could have heeded the signals God was giving me. It might have changed nothing, but I would have been healthier emotionally. When my world fell apart, I eventually become severely depressed. Still unable to name or express my anger, loss, or grief, I turned it all on myself.

It’s been a long journey of learning new ways to relate and communicate and unlearning old dysfunctional ways.

I remember one day a year or so ago that I felt so angry at my husband. I went to him and spilled it all with intensity. When I stopped speaking, he smiled and clapped his hands and told me how proud he was of me for owning my feelings and sharing my true heart. We both laughed and enjoyed the moment that pictured how we both had grown.

Can we be led by our emotions in wrong ways? Certainly! Just as I had capped off and denied a lot of my emotions, others spew theirs in irresponsible ways and are led astray by their emotions. Either is unhealthy.

My journey has led me to live in more peace, more rest, and joy. No longer denying my emotions, I’ve connected to a more passionate life, both in my relationship with God and others. Passion and desire are God-given, and when used in healthy ways, allow us to live-fully here on the earth. There is only one word for desire in the New Testament. It can be positive or negative. It can lead us to truth and purpose-filled living or it can lead us to a life of sin.

I now regularly notice what my emotions are saying. When I feel disturbed, I stop and ask God what has happened. I can usually retrace my day back to a moment when I ignored my heart or spoke wrongfully or violated my healthy boundaries. In other words, I use my emotions as signals to tell me what is going on in my heart.

What are your emotions telling you today? Are you connected to God’s life-giving flow? Are you listening to how he may be speaking to you through your emotions?

Our life journey should include becoming increasingly emotionally healthy. After all, God made us body, soul, and spirit; our emotions are a part of our on-board equipment that God has given us all. Through a life in the Word, led by the Spirit, and connected to Christian community, our emotions can become powerful indicators so pursue living from the truest place in your heart! God is speaking!

How God Speaks to Us Through Our Emotions

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Reckless Words: From Social Media to Everyday Life

Mikki — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 16:22:26 +0000

New studies indicate that most of us speak around 16,000 words a day with some folks speaking up to 47,000 words every day! That’s lots of talking!

It stands to reason that we have the potential to misuse some of those 16,000 words. Proverbs 10:19 tells us that there is always sin in the multitude of words and the wise person restrains his or her tongue.

Wow, in the day of Twitter, facebook, and social media when many folks don’t have an unpublished thought, I have to wonder about our potential to harm others. If we can reach others exponentially with our positive life-giving messages through social media, we also may find ourselves harming others and our own testimony.

Here’s the scenario: The opportunity is there. I have a thought. I post it. Viola! The world (at least my world) sees it, whether good, bad, or ugly.

If you can’t see my face when I’m speaking, if you can’t hear my intonation, or gauge my intent by being present with me, then the potential for misunderstanding is great.

One young woman from the social media generation recently reminded me of wonderful world of emoticons, all the smiley faces, sad faces, etc., that we can add to our social media posts to clue folks into what we are intending. I can let you know if I’m being kind or if I’m jabbing a bit or if I’m being sarcastic by simply adding an emoticon.

Yet how many times have I (and you, too, probably) sat scratching my head at a tweet or a facebook post or a text message and wondered if that person had any idea how the message “sounded” on the other end of the communication. After all, communication is about COMMUNICATING and communicating is about being heard and understood. (I readily admit that I have made mistakes in this area, particularly by trying to save time and text someone as opposed to calling.)

Isn’t it ironic that in our efforts to be heard more that we can often be heard less accurately? Our hearts can be more misunderstood? Other folks can feel more distanced from us instead of closer? Our prejudices and judgment can stare blankly at the world without any heart connection??

Am I a social media hater? No, not at all. I tweet, use facebook, text, I’m linkedin, I Digg, I Stumble Upon, the list goes on and on. I believe in using the tools God has given us to get life-giving messages out. That’s why I am writing this! How can we use these tools more effectively? How can we do it better?

Here are four things to consider as you weigh your words:

1. 1. Stop and think before you write. See if your thought can stand the test of time.

Proverbs 29:20 Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Proverbs 13:3 He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.

James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

2. 2. Ask God and yourself if what you plan to say comes off as arrogance.

Proverbs 18:2 A fool find no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.

3. 3. Check your words to see if they are life-giving.

Proverbs 16:23 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 25:11 A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Colossians 4:6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt.

4. 4. Ask yourself if your words are reckless.

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Matthew 12:36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

James 1:26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceived himself and his religion is worthless.

1 Peter 3:10 Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.

You see it all goes back to this principle, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

How will you use your 16,000 words today?

Reckless Words: From Social Media to Everyday Life

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