Archive for Relationships
Seize the Day!
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A few years ago the movie "Dead Poets Society" resurrected a Latin phrase, Carpe Diem, or Seize the Day, an exhortation to live life to the fullest, getting the most out of each individual day.- Enjoy the day. We don’t know what will come tomorrow. (Click post title to read entire post)
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I’m Sorry
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Like molasses reluctantly ascending from an overturned jar, my words moved from somewhere deep within. The battle raged. I wanted to apologize, and yet, I didn’t. One part of my heart was tender, caring, and repentant. Another part was calloused, stubborn, and selfish.
My two natures each sought victory. I identified with Paul, remembering the words he spoke in Romans 7 of the inner war. For the moment, my Christ’ nature won, yet often my flesh nature waves its victory flag.
Why is it so difficult to say those two little words? I’m sorry.
We can’t maintain healthy relationships without humility and repentance, but we all struggle to allow Christ to rule in our hearts. My flesh nature and your flesh nature are never truly dead in this life and frequently resurrect to remind us.
Paul reminds us in Philippians 2:3-5 that we are to do nothing out of selfish ambitions or vain conceits, but that we are, in humility, to consider others more than ourselves, having the same attitude of Christ.
How do we allow our selfish natures to be crucified? The best answer seems to be “one nail at a time”.
Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, year by year, we walk with Christ. We learn more of his heart and his nature. We learn more of our own heart and our own nature.
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Does Anyone Understand Me?
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“He just doesn’t get it!” “Why can’t she just hear what I’m saying?” “Why don’t they just say what they mean?”
Ever find it difficult to communicate your heart to someone you care about? Ever been completely misunderstood by a friend or spouse? Well, of course, at times all of us have found ourselves completely bewildered at another human’s inability to understand us and we can feel equally bewildered as we try to understand them.
Good communication is a necessary component of every significant relationship, but how often do we find ourselves scratching our heads in bewilderment or stomping our feet in frustration because someone else has totally NOT understood us or heard our hearts.
Misunderstanding. Miscommunication. Emotional responses. Sinful responses. Personal history. There is an entire array of reasons that make intimate knowing so difficult. Yet at the core level, every human longs to be truly known. To be understood. We crave the satisfaction of knowing that someone really “gets” us.
While most of us have experienced moments of this deep knowing of our hearts, this level of knowing, this intimacy, requires hard work because each of us bring all of our past and all of what we believe to be true about life, others, God, and ourselves into every exchange.
Yet despite all the frustrations that we may encounter, we were designed for intimate sharing of our hearts and lives with God and with others.
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Honest Anger
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A few years ago, I invited a counselor friend of mine, Susi Harbour, to come to our ladies’ retreat and administer a personality test to our ladies. I had already taken it once and thought it would be fun and useful for the ladies of our church to know more about themselves and how they ticked. Susi suggested adding an anger inventory to the activity. “Okay, sure,” I said. I suppose I didn’t quite get the purpose of the whole thing, but I figured it’d be interesting.
As I sat at the table with other Christian women leaders, I was surprised that they were such fire balls! They apparently had lots of anger! I, on the other hand, scored “anger avoidance” as my style of dealing with anger. I didn’t really think that was such a bad thing. I mean, after all, I was a godly woman. I was extremely patient. I almost never spoke sharply to anyone and had lots of grace for others. Well, as it turns out, I had a lot to learn about how to deal with my anger and what healthy anger was.
Just a short time later, my world crashed. I was drawn into a whirlwind of pain, gossip, betrayal, fear, threats, and just plain lack of people skills and Christian love, and my anger style kicked into overdrive!
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When It’s Time to Tell the Truth
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Telling the truth seems to be straightforward idea, right? You just tell it like it is and that’s that, right?
As a follower of Christ, my life is built on and dedicated to truth, so it should be easy to just tell the truth. It’s black and white, right? Well, yes…. and no.
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