Archive for Relationships

Nov
25

When Dying …

Posted by: Mikki | Comments (0)

 To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

    A time to be born,

                And a time to die;     Ecclesiastes 3

We, as humans, live with the knowledge that one day we will die.

Maybe I am thinking about this since I am about to have my 50th birthday. Now I am not planning to die anytime soon, but I am beginning to live with the realization that I am aging. I must admit it is bothering me a little. I have told all my friends and family that there better not be any black balloons at my birthday party. I may be aging, but I am not dying and I do not want to cry at my party.  

Some of my family and friends have been asking me what I’d like to receive as a gift on this special birthday.  When my daughter-in-law asked what I wanted, I gave her the name of an anti-aging cream!  

I don’t think of myself as, well, older.  In some ways, I still think I am that invincible teenager who could fearlessly climb to the top of a cheerleading pyramid.  Surely I am still that young girl who woke up at 6 a.m. ready to conquer the day and needing no coffee to do so.  

But I have come to accept, reluctantly, that my body is aging. I have joints that ache, mostly from jumping off pyramids!  And my body says that it would have been much wiser to have taken better care of it before now.

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Sep
27

A Time to Cry

Posted by: Mikki | Comments (4)

 Ecclesiastes 3:

1 To everything there is a season,

      A time for every purpose under heaven…
      
       
4 A time to weep, 

Weeping.  Crying.  Sobbing.

These words bring so many pictures to our minds and  if we allow them, emotions to our hearts.

Should we weep? Is it appropriate to weep openly in front of others?  Should a man refrain from crying? If he does cry, is he a weak man? Is it more acceptable for a woman to cry?  Can we fully accept her tears as real expressions of her heart and not simply a result of her hormones or emotional makeup? 

I think of King David, a man described as one who had God’s heart, who was no stranger to weeping.  David wept when he knew his relationship with Jonathan was about to be over because of Saul’s hatred for David. He was about to lose his dearest friend. They both wept, but I love the fact that Scripture records that “David wept the most”.

David and his army wept aloud until they had no strength left over their loss at Ziklag. Their wives and children had been taken captive. They wept.

Jacob and Esau wept when their relationship was restored.

Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth, mourned, and refused to be comforted, and wept when he thought his son Joseph was dead.

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Jun
09

Stock the Pond

Posted by: Mikki | Comments (1)

  

As I think about the many ways my life has changed in the last year, one of the most unexpected things is the way that I am learning to enjoy life in the everyday moments. 

As I spent time with a friend yesterday, we paused again and again to look at the day’s sunset. We stopped the CD that was playing to talk about the words. We breathed in the experiences of the moment. 

My friend commented that she had heard someone refer to this kind of life as having your pond stocked, a process that fills your pond with living, breathing fish, so that it teems with life. 

And truly that was how I felt. At that moment, my pond was stocked. I was full. 

Even today, as I have begun reading a book by Barbara Brown Taylor entitled “Leaving Church” and she gives voice to her life’s experiences, her thoughts led me to stop, breathe, ponder, and enjoy the moment. I didn’t feel it necessary to read the next chapter. I wanted to soak in the expressions of her heart.

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Jun
07

Hide or Seek

Posted by: Mikki | Comments (2)

 Hide and Seek

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… 

Ready or not – Here I come! 

The object of the old childhood game is to hide well enough that no one will find you. If no one finds you, you win.

I think that is a pretty good picture of how we often live.  We look for the best hiding places; places to hide our true heart, our emotions, our giftings, our anger, our thoughts.  We try to hide so well that no one will see us. And then, if no one finds us, we declare that we have won!

Yet when we choose to hide our true self in our relationships, instead of winning, we actually lose. We lose the opportunity to be truly known and loved for who we really are. 

We hide our faces, our hearts, our fears, and our failures from each other. We then declare that we have won. Oh, not verbally, but deeply within our hearts. It is too risky to allow someone else to see our most intimate thoughts and feelings. We even convince ourselves that we can hide from God. And the paradox of it all is that in the hiding of our hearts, we effectively prevent ourselves from receiving the love of God and the love of others. 

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Mar
24

In the Face of Shame

Posted by: Mikki | Comments (3)

Have you ever felt ashamed of something you did?  Have you ever been embarrassed to look people in the eyes?  

On Sunday I began to ponder the effects of shame.  I was praying for a beautiful young woman whom I had not seen in a couple of years.  The last time I saw her, she asked for prayer because of her marital situation.  I had counseled with her, prayed with her and had given her a book as a resource.  And here she was again, having a hard time looking into my eyes. The longer I spoke with her, the more obvious it was that she was very ashamed. I knew something of her story.  An abusive husband whom she just literally caught in the act of being unfaithful.  Not a new story with her.  As she cried to me for help, she said, “I don’t want to leave him.”  My heart was heavy for her.  How I wished I could have taken her troubles away! I wished I could have made her marriage whole.  But deep within, I knew that aside from a work of the Spirit of God, things were not going to change in this marriage. She was going to continue to be beaten and betrayed.  If she continued to be a prisoner of her shame, she was never going to take the steps she needed to in order to experience acceptance and freedom. 

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