Archive for Relationships
Stock the Pond
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As I think about the many ways my life has changed in the last year, one of the most unexpected things is the way that I am learning to enjoy life in the everyday moments.
As I spent time with a friend yesterday, we paused again and again to look at the day’s sunset. We stopped the CD that was playing to talk about the words. We breathed in the experiences of the moment.
My friend commented that she had heard someone refer to this kind of life as having your pond stocked, a process that fills your pond with living, breathing fish, so that it teems with life.
And truly that was how I felt. At that moment, my pond was stocked. I was full.
Even today, as I have begun reading a book by Barbara Brown Taylor entitled “
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Hide or Seek
Posted by: | CommentsHide and Seek
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
Ready or not – Here I come!
The object of the old childhood game is to hide well enough that no one will find you. If no one finds you, you win.
I think that is a pretty good picture of how we often live. We look for the best hiding places; places to hide our true heart, our emotions, our giftings, our anger, our thoughts. We try to hide so well that no one will see us. And then, if no one finds us, we declare that we have won!
Yet when we choose to hide our true self in our relationships, instead of winning, we actually lose. We lose the opportunity to be truly known and loved for who we really are.
We hide our faces, our hearts, our fears, and our failures from each other. We then declare that we have won. Oh, not verbally, but deeply within our hearts. It is too risky to allow someone else to see our most intimate thoughts and feelings. We even convince ourselves that we can hide from God. And the paradox of it all is that in the hiding of our hearts, we effectively prevent ourselves from receiving the love of God and the love of others.
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In the Face of Shame
Posted by: | CommentsHave you ever felt ashamed of something you did? Have you ever been embarrassed to look people in the eyes?
On Sunday I began to ponder the effects of shame. I was praying for a beautiful young woman whom I had not seen in a couple of years. The last time I saw her, she asked for prayer because of her marital situation. I had counseled with her, prayed with her and had given her a book as a resource. And here she was again, having a hard time looking into my eyes. The longer I spoke with her, the more obvious it was that she was very ashamed. I knew something of her story. An abusive husband whom she just literally caught in the act of being unfaithful. Not a new story with her. As she cried to me for help, she said, “I don’t want to leave him.” My heart was heavy for her. How I wished I could have taken her troubles away! I wished I could have made her marriage whole. But deep within, I knew that aside from a work of the Spirit of God, things were not going to change in this marriage. She was going to continue to be beaten and betrayed. If she continued to be a prisoner of her shame, she was never going to take the steps she needed to in order to experience acceptance and freedom.
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