Archive for Relationships
In the Face of Shame
Posted by: | CommentsHave you ever felt ashamed of something you did? Have you ever been embarrassed to look people in the eyes?
On Sunday I began to ponder the effects of shame. I was praying for a beautiful young woman whom I had not seen in a couple of years. The last time I saw her, she asked for prayer because of her marital situation. I had counseled with her, prayed with her and had given her a book as a resource. And here she was again, having a hard time looking into my eyes. The longer I spoke with her, the more obvious it was that she was very ashamed. I knew something of her story. An abusive husband whom she just literally caught in the act of being unfaithful. Not a new story with her. As she cried to me for help, she said, “I don’t want to leave him.” My heart was heavy for her. How I wished I could have taken her troubles away! I wished I could have made her marriage whole. But deep within, I knew that aside from a work of the Spirit of God, things were not going to change in this marriage. She was going to continue to be beaten and betrayed. If she continued to be a prisoner of her shame, she was never going to take the steps she needed to in order to experience acceptance and freedom.
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Looks Like Jesus to Me
Posted by: | CommentsOne of the most fascinating looks into the heart of God is a look into Jesus on the cross. Today I am not thinking of what happened spiritually, although that is completely and fully worthy of our thoughts. Today I am thinking of what happened in the realm of Jesus’ earthly relationships.
Believing that Jesus was 100% God and 100% human is one of the great mysteries of the church. Maybe you think that is an overstatement. Certainly we “believe” it mentally, but practically, I feel that oftentimes we have difficulty accepting this truth. We can get the 100% God part, but the 100% human part is incomprehensible to us. Yet it is a cornerstone of our faith.
Can we look at Jesus’ last days from his human perspective for a moment – imagining the emotional inner world of Jesus – feeling the highs and lows of a roller coaster of experiences? Can you allow yourself to step into his humanness or is it too sacrilegious for you? Let’s take a look – with our hearts – imagining what his heart experienced emotionally and then I want to say something about relationships.
…Jesus teaches the people and ministers in the miraculous realm, receiving direction from His Father (I only do what I see the Father doing)
…He prophesies of his own death and torture
…Jesus experiences the cheers and praise of the people as he enters
…His authority is questioned
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To Give Yourself
Posted by: | CommentsWhat does it mean to give yourself? What response do those words evoke within you? And to whom are you willing to give yourself?
We might think of a father giving his daughter away. Our daughter is getting married in August, and we will “give” her away.
But truly she will have to give herself to her husband.
We also give ourselves in friendship. We give ourselves in so many relationships. We give our hearts to God.
We speak of being whole-hearted in our devotion. Of giving ourselves completely. Yet sometimes I find that I resist the whole-hearted giving of myself. Doesn’t it feel safer to keep a few corners of your heart in a place no one can have. Perhaps we’ve all learned the art of self-preservation.
To preserve means to protect, but it also indicates that something is kept away from harm oftentimes by covering or shielding an item. When we practice self-preservation, we have effectively kept our hearts from being touched. We have shielded ourselves from exposure – to harm and to love. We have actually harmed ourselves in order to keep someone else from harming us.
How many people cover their wounds in alcohol or drugs or sex or by shopping or eating saying “Stay away. Don’t get too close. You might hurt me or I might hurt you.” And we go through life living in a sort of immunized way. We experienced enough hurt to tell our bodies to manufacture immunity to deep feelings.
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To Own a Dragon
Posted by: | CommentsI’m reading a book called “To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing up Without a Father” by Donald Miller and John MacMurray. The book is actually written for men so Donald gives a disclaimer at the beginning for any women who would read it! A friend of mine loved the book so much she asked me to read it. I want to share a couple of excerpts from chapter five where Donald addresses the idea of God fathering us.
“What I am getting at is the concept of a father may have been soiled for you and me, but it was important for me to realize who did the soiling. To be fair, it wasn’t God…”
And then he talks about how he saw John MacMurray interact with his children and relates how the children reacted after being disciplined…
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