Mikki's Blog - Living in the Grace and Love of God » seasons

Mercies in Disguise: Finding God in Your Trials

Mikki — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:14:57 +0000

Seasons of trials and troubles, pain and suffering, disappointments and dying dreams can leave all of us with more questions than answers. We find ourselves unable to box our theological answers as neatly as before. We wrestle with questions like, “Where are you, God?” “Why have you deserted me?” “Are you real, God?” In our trials, we reach for our false strengths and we find that they were only illusions.

My greatest trials thus far lie just behind me. I can still see them in the rear view mirror. And yet, I move forward looking unto the road before me.

As Laura Story so beautifully sings in her song, Blessings, I have found blessings in the raindrops, healing in the tears, God’s presence in my sleepless nights. Somehow, in the ways that only God can, my trials have brought me God’s mercies in disguise.

I don’t like it. In fact, I hate it, this process where God allows us to be stripped of our defenses and our facades. I hate the process and cherish the result.

And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And…the man touched the hollow of his thigh. Genesis 32:24-25

God met Jacob when he was alone. All of Jacob’s assets were of no good to him when he met God one on one. There was no one or no thing for Jacob to rely on that night. And maybe for the first time in his life, he didn’t run. He stayed, he wrestled. And God blessed him by wounding him.

Forevermore Jacob had a change of identity. He would no longer be identified with his false identity. He would now be, "Israel", He had stayed in the battle and not run away. He had prevailed.

He was now marked by his encounter, his wounding.

For Jacob, now Israel, the wound would forever be with him to remind him that he had encountered God. He was blessed. He was forgiven. He had found his true identity and could leave his past behind…except for that limp.

He could never take a step without his limp.

God’s strength would be shown in Jacob’s weakness.

Our God encounters have a way of showing us the eternal perspective of all we use to give us value in false ways. Whether money or beauty or influence, it can all be lost in an instant and suddenly one finds that the only things of value in this world is that which has been touched by God.

Our most transforming wrestling matches are between our own fleshly strengths and God’s supernatural strength. We will always lose, and yet, in losing, we win.

We become marked and there is no shame in the limp because it anchors us to the true hope we can only find in God.

Take a moment and listen to Laura’s song and ask yourself if there are blessings in your raindrops, healing in your tears, the nearness of God in your sleepless nights, and God’s mercy disguised in your trials.

Mercies in Disguise: Finding God in Your Trials

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The Day My Clothes Spoke to Me

Mikki — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 14:06:38 +0000

A new year. A new opportunity. A new day. A new beginning. Ah, the inspiration of it!

I spent part of New Year’s Eve cleaning out my clothes’ closet. I took everything out of my closet and laid the stuff in stacks around my room. Then I began. Toss. Keep. Give away. Store in a different place. Reorganize. Somehow the arrival of the New Year beckoned me to start over again. To think in new ways. To look for new strategies.

Magazine articles about decluttering and organization called to me.

I was in a ruthless mood. If I didn’t love it, it went no matter how much I wondered if it might come back into style in a year or if it might fit me better later.

The process became spiritual.

I picked up a blouse. I thought of my mother and her changing memory. The blouse represented a shopping trip we’d had. I felt saddened and a deeper realization of my time with her changing as she ages.

A dress touched my memory of days gone by and folks I love who I don’t really see anymore. Tears filled my eyes as I allowed the memory to fill my heart.

Another outfit took me back to a season of my life. Ah, those were good days.

The blouse I would wear for my anniversary this week. More smiles.

Ah, there was that item that needs hemming and one that needs a button.

And those two little dresses I bought for my granddaughter for Spring. I smiled as I thought of her.

Almost like the year in review except it went much further.

My emotions ranged from gratitude to delight to satisfaction to joy to melancholy to sorrow to ambivalence to regret.

I was both glad I could get back into those pants I love and yet frustrated that I had a lot of work to do in order to be able wear that cute skirt.

The finished project gave me satisfaction. My life would be simpler. More organized. Less stressful.

And the project reminded me of how I must evaluate my life periodically and the usefulness of the things that fill it. I posed these questions to myself and now, I pose them to you:

What is really important in your life?

What is being ignored? What needs repair?

What needs to go to make room for the things that “fit” today?

What needs to be given new priority?

What needs to be grieved? Appreciated? Planned for?

The New Year is a gift. God promises us that His heart for us is to give us future and hope. So allow His Spirit to do the work inside you that will prepare you for the new day. Value the old things that are foundational and drink in the new knowing that God’s plans for you are good. A new year. A new day. A new beginning.

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 3:6

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
…A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;

The Day My Clothes Spoke to Me

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Surviving Your Winter Season

Mikki — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 16:17:03 +0000

I am yearning for springtime and yet just outside my window, snow blankets my world. It’s been a very unusual winter for those of us who live in northwest Alabama. I’ve lost count of how many ‘snows’ we have had this year. We normally don’t have ANY snow and can sometimes go several years without snow, but this year we’ve been covered again and again with beautiful, thick and heavy blankets of white.

As I sit and take in the beauty, I also find my heart longing for warmth, for the earth to thaw and yield sprouting daffodils and budding crepe myrtles. Springtime often arrives early here, and I am living with the anticipation that it could be any day now. But then again, in my mind, I regretfully acknowledge that if the tender signs of springtime burst forth too soon, winter will likely once again roar its bitter voice and destroy the early promises of spring.

Yet I find it hard to wait. Impatience stirs within me, but the seasons are out of my control.

So it often is in our lives. Winter comes without our invitation and brings death, or so it appears. The leaves that were once green and then later ablaze with autumn colors, fall away and leave nakedness. All visible signs of life disappear. The horizon of our lives looks barren and colorless.

During those times, the work of God within us is being wrought in the deepest places in our hearts and souls. These are the days when we are tempted to give up. Maybe everything I’ve believed is not true. Maybe God doesn’t care. Perhaps no one does. These thoughts scream at us, as everything in our flesh and everything in our past woundedness tells us that the winter will be endless. Hope will never come.

Just as my daffodils and crepe myrtles don’t really need to spring forth too soon, so it is with us during these seasons. No matter how we long for our winter seasons to be over, we are not truly in control. These waiting ‘winter’ seasons of our lives are much more difficult than the springtime seasons of our lives.

God has a purpose in all of His delays. Even though it may appear to the naked eye that nothing is happening during the winters of our lives, there is much going on in the unseen realm. We know that a tree is not dead during winter but there is no ‘above ground growth’ during its dormancy, yet according to scientists, the tree continues its basic functions and ‘below ground growth and repair’.

This ‘below ground’ work is the most difficult for all of us. We love the growth that is visibly beautiful like my springtime daffodils. When we are able to see the amazing colors of springtime, our breath is taken away, but can we accept the truth that we would never get to the beauty of springtime without the process of winter?

And if the seasons of life are truly, for the most part, out of our control, dare we ask God to show us glimpses of what he is doing ‘below the ground’ of our lives, in the invisible, intangible places?

And beyond that, can we live without answers when the heavens seem silent? Can we trust a God who is working in our lives from the inside out? Can we resist the need to understand and lean into the arms of God for protection during the worst winter days?

I wish it were easy. I wish I could wave a magic wand over any of you who are ‘in winter’ and make it springtime again for you. Yet I have learned some things while walking with God in the winter seasons.

The ‘below the ground’ work prepares me for spring.

The cold barrenness will eventually give way to warmth and ‘above the ground’ beauty.

L.B. Cowman, the author of Streams in the Desert, once said, “The best things in life are the result of being wounded. Wheat must be crushed before becoming bread, and incense must be burned by fire before its fragrance is set free. The earth must be broken with a sharp plow before being ready to receive the seed. And it is a broken heart that pleases God. Yes, the sweetest joys of life are the fruits of sorrow.”

Although we may never be humanly able to joyfully embrace the winters of our lives, perhaps we can at least acknowledge that much of the course of the seasons are out of our control and have a peace inside our hearts that although we are not in control, we serve a God who is. Although God may not have caused your winter, His handprints are sure to be found in the midst of your inner work.

It all brings us back to the words, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Will you release your struggle to Him and live with the quiet knowing that He is still in control and loves you beyond our understanding?

Oh, winter’s not easy, but it is profitable. We can long for spring and at the same time, look for the fingerprints of God in our winter. We can acknowledge, although it may be with pain, grief, and difficulty, that God is in both seasons.

Surviving Your Winter Season

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