Do You Need a Friend?


 “You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I’ll come running to see you again…” I awakened to the sounds of James Taylor singing in my head. With some good coffee in hand, I clicked my computer over to YouTube and listened to James. Ahh, the words are hauntingly beautiful. Beautiful, because they express a longing for which we were created. Haunting, because we often don’t live in the full reality of that kind of relationship.

One of the comments underneath the song provided a commentary of a broken heart, “This must have been written about a dog.”  We may all smile, but yet most of us know the feeling well for others have failed us in relationship and we have, also, failed in this way ourselves.

The words to this song have resonated with millions as the longing for lasting relationship exists in the hearts of all. This heart longing for a sense of belonging and community was created by God Himself. He made us for relationship, both with Him and with others.

Spiritual communities have the sacred privilege to gather together and offer relationship based on Christ and his presence. We come together and stay together based on who we are in Christ. When friendship and relationship are at their best, we are restored and refreshed through them. We listen to each other. We work together. We encourage one another. We pray for each other, hug each other, work through hurts and misunderstandings, and love each other.

Our world system tells us that we should value independence, selfishness, and shouts loud and clear that, “It’s all about me!”  Yet what happens if we, as spiritual ones, fall into this same thinking?

Whether it’s our thoughts about the personality of the preacher or the type of worship music we sing or a million other things, how do we move beyond a consumer-oriented approach to spiritual communities and move into living inside a community of faith as those who have a home?

There is something that happens over time, as believers live in commitment with one another that speaks to our longing for home and relationship. One of the things I am enjoying about my spiritual community is the ever-growing sense of love as believers live life with one another. Many people have done the hard work of relationship and now find themselves connected at the heart level and yet there is more work to do.

If your heart is lonely, longing for relationship, I pray that your deep longings will be filled. It may be that there is work to be done in your heart so that you can learn to have lasting relationships. It may be that you need to roll up your sleeves, so to speak, and dive into a spiritual community, with the desire for being a part of a home.

Oh, and I hear the voice of those who say, “But I’ve done that and it doesn’t work! I’ve been hurt!” Yes, at times, you might find yourself lonely, isolated, and hurting through no fault of your own. Christ identifies with your pain. On the cross, he experienced the abandonment of all his friends. He even felt abandoned by God Himself. Through his death on the cross and the victory he won, Christ now offers us healing for our hearts and a life of relationship, both with God and with others.  Stay in the process, my dear one, until you find hope and healing. The joys and benefits are worth the journey. 



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  1. I am so grateful fo the times that doing life together with close believers of Jesus has worked. I have been hurt, too … but it is always worth the risk.


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