Do You Need to Forgive Yourself?
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What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? What is the worst mistake you’ve ever made? What is the greatest harm you’ve ever committed to another human?
Do you have your list? Did the pictures in your mind come up faster than high-speed internet?
Most of us don’t have any trouble recalling the worst moments of our lives. I imagine that when I asked those questions, you not only recalled the “bad” things you have done, but you also reconnected to some feelings of shame and guilt.
A foundational truth of Christianity is that we come into relationship with God through forgiveness based on the work of Christ. We maintain the flow of fellowship both with God and man by confessing our sins and appropriating the purifying work of Christ into our daily lives.
While we may understand the role of forgiveness in our Christian walk in relation to God and to others, we may find it harder still to be aware of the need to forgive ourselves.
Woven into the fabric of our core belief system may be the unspoken, and often unrecognized, belief that refusing to forgive ourselves shows God that we realize what dirty rotten sinners we really are and agrees with God that we don’t deserve to be forgiven.
And while we are sinners and don’t deserve forgiveness apart from Christ, through Christ we become righteous and through his grace, we are offered forgiveness. Living in that forgiveness means that we acknowledge that God offers us radical, undeserved forgiveness and we cannot make ourselves more deserving of that forgiveness by holding ourselves prisoner to past mistakes.
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Navigating Uncomfortable Waters
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I like comfort. My personal choice is easy, painless, risk-free, non-confrontational living. God, however, seems quite at peace with asking me to be uncomfortable. In fact, He is somewhat insistent on stretching me, requiring me to face my own unhealed stuff, and gently reminding me that comfort does not always equal His will or purposes in my life or in the life of those I love.
I have found that God is not hesitant to ask me to walk through wilderness, desert, north winds, and mountainous terrains of my soul and spirit. The lessons I have learned as I have faced the uncomfortable places have greatly transformed me.
I think that most of us who are believers in Christ can identify many situations where God has asked us to be uncomfortable. From my salvation on, I can think of times when God’s invitation was to allow Him to change me IN AND THROUGH the uncomfortable place.
Why would God choose to work that way?
God, who knows each of us so intimately, much more than we know our own selves, has a plan for us. Scripture tells us that He intends for us all to be “conformed into the image of His own dear son.” This transformation requires change. Most of us resist change. We cling to what we know, even when it is not working.
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The Shopping Cart from Hell
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It began innocently enough. I walked into the store and grabbed the first available shopping cart. I checked it out a bit to see if it rolled nicely and having not received any red flags, I took off. Well, let me back track momentarily and invite you more fully into the moment.
Grocery shopping is a part of my life that I have a love/hate relationship with. It can feel like a piece of heaven or an experience from the pits of hell.
At times, I enter the store and they’ve got Norah Jones playing. When that happens, I always muse at how smart the owners are. Who could refuse such a beautiful musical invitation to experience the moment? I inevitably slow down and shop longer when Norah is pouring out her heart over the airwaves. I mellow out, breathe, and linger to experience the wonder of choice, creativity, color, smell, and touch. I dream of savoring that spinach dip or the chocolate cake or the chicken enchiladas….
And then on other days, I am on mission. I plan out my time strategy. I will shop when there are not too many people in the store. I will begin on Aisle C and proceed to Aisle G and blaze out of the store through Aisle H. It’s the ‘divide and conquer’ strategy. With laser focus, I enter the store to “get” something. With my Superwoman cape in place, I have a silent inner goal: I will enter this store, find my purchases, and be back in the car in less than ten minutes! Watch out, fellow shoppers!
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How God Speaks to Us Through Our Emotions
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What emotions are you feeling right now? Can you name what is happening inside your inner world? Could God be speaking to you through your emotions?
Are you annoyed, ashamed, confused, hurt, depressed, jealous, anxious, fearful, stressed, angry, or sad?
While it may sound like a simple task to name what emotions you are experiencing, I haven’t always been able to do that and I’ve found in my work as a therapist, that many, many folks are not able to accurately name what is happening inside them.
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Emotions: Moses’ Journey and Our Invitation
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I felt as if I were inside Moses’ skin yesterday morning as I meditated on Deuteronomy 31. I identified with his emotions. It was a moment when the Holy Spirit opened my eyes through my own journey to glimpse into Moses’ heart.
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