The Secret Desires of Your Heart


 There are moments when God surprises you in such profound ways that there is no other way to describe it other than “Wow, God, You are amazing.” I recently experienced one of those moments and while it might seem unimportant in the big scheme of life, it was a significant moment for me. A moment when I felt overcome by the kindness of God. A moment I was reminded of how intimately He knows me and how much He cares about me.

During my high school years, I kept scrapbooks. It was the old traditional kind with large paper pages. I taped and glued every scrap of stuff onto the pages of my scrapbooks. Having always been a bit sentimental, I kept corsage ribbons, ticket stubs, school programs; you name it and I kept it.

When my husband and I married, I carried those scrapbooks with me. But a couple of years later, I decided to store the scrapbooks on some shelves in my dad’s barn. I never intended to abandon them but just temporarily store them. A year or so later, I went back to retrieve the scrapbooks and they were gone.

Upset and frustrated, I asked my dad about the scrapbooks. He admitted to me that he had thrown them away one day when he was cleaning up in the barn. Powerless to retrieve my precious scrapbooks, I felt almost gut-kicked. I felt stupid for having stored my scrapbooks in such a careless way and I was totally perplexed that my dad had not understood the value of my precious memorabilia. (Okay, I do understand that I stored them in an old barn!)

Throughout the years, I would mention my loss to my husband, Eddie, and express my utter dismay and feelings of sadness.

Recently Eddie and I were driving in our car and a discussion about high school came up. Thinking of my beloved scrapbooks, I moaned and groaned about how my dad had thrown them away and my desire for them.

In the middle of that moment, I felt a nudge to ask God to restore what I had lost. Immediately I thought of the futility of such a prayer. After all, the scrapbooks had been lost for over 30 years. But a thread of faith arose in my heart and inwardly I asked, “Lord, if those scrapbooks are anywhere to be found, I would like to have them back.”

Our drive continued and my thoughts moved on.

A week later, Eddie and I stopped by my mother’s house to check on some things. When I unlocked the door to enter, I stood speechless as there in my mother’s entryway was an old dusty box full of things from my childhood along with my scrapbooks. Overwhelmed I stood there and tried to express to Eddie the impossibility of what was happening.

I pulled out the scrapbooks and began to look. I was overjoyed. God had answered an intimate prayer from a very tender place of my heart. A prayer request that I had not even breathed aloud.

I felt overwhelmed with the kindness of God. Amazed at His involvement in my life. Breathless at how He Himself initiated my very prayer by nudging me to ask. I knew that I was in the midst of a God moment. A moment when God was saying, “I care about the smallest things in your life. I am intimately involved. I want to give you the desires of your heart.”

Psalm 37:4 resonated in my spirit, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

The scrapbooks were not eternally significant but they represented an inner desire of my heart. The message was loud and clear. I am important to God. He heard my prayer. It mattered to me so it mattered to Him.

Such encounters take us deeper into the heart of God. They build our sense of being known, which is the essence of intimacy.

I later found out that my cousin who has been helping me care for my mother’s home had found the scrapbooks in the back of the large barn sitting in an old box covered with dirt and bugs and cobwebs.

Now I had looked for those scrapbooks many times in that old barn, each time grieving their loss and remembering that my dad had thrown them away. Whether or not God, who is not bound to time, reached back and just restored them to me or whether they were there all the time, the kindness of God is all the same.

Not only is He involved in the great big things. The matters of eternal significance. He is involved in the little things, too. The ones that matter only to you.

He is a personal God. He wants to be invited into your secret desires. He knows you intimately and loves you completely.

God is a God of intimacy. He knows all about you and He longs for you to share your heart with Him. He desires to restore all that you’ve lost and show His heart of kindness to you.

Will you open your heart to Him? Will you step into the nudges of His Holy Spirit? 

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    Categories : Kindness


    1. Susi says:

      Mikki–what a God-breathed story! My tears gushed! I tend to be attached to things, and I have lost some very important ones over the years–at least they seemed to be crucial at the time. Even though I am still waiting on my personal “scrapbook salvation story” I know God is gracious and able. Even in the tiniest matters, His love bursts through. I hope I never underestimate His power to restore–anything and everything.

    2. Camille says:

      I am an awe of your story.  I never thought of GOD being so intimate with us that he cares about such small things of our lives.  I walked away from nursing 8 years ago and have wondered what my life would have been like if I would have stayed with it.  My life has now been turned upside down and all the doors have reopened for me to go back into the field and I am seeing that maybe this is a secret desire of my heart. Thank you for sharing such a heart touching story.

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